Raymond Angelo is the Exoticoption.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Feeling Soup-er.

Title's a reference to a t-shirt I just bought. Is nice.

It's the weekend once again, and I'm out of Tekong. I've gotten used to this feeling, of being free one moment, then chained the next; one life on the weekends, and then another on the weekdays. A hard transition, truly, but when you've done it enough times, as with everything else, you get used to it. You adapt, you evolve, and you move on.

Ask me whether I've learned anything, and I'll say I'm not sure. For sure, my sergeants have inculcated drills, field craft, technical handling, and other army knowledge into my head, but have I learned anything about myself? I find myself thinking, and questioning myself...have I grown? I've gotten slimmer, fitter, and botak-er, but that's about it. I've yet to reach that feeling of...achievement, victory...or perhaps it's another formless concept I haven't conceived of yet.

I long for inner-growth. I want to be more than I can become. There's so much potential in me, I get excited just thinking about what may happen next, and to what lengths I can bring myself to. They say that you reap what you sow, and I guess I'll follow this mentality as I go through army life. It's not a front, or anything of the sort, it's just a want to do the best you can, at all times. Like I did in Junior College, I'm going to chiong army, yeah.

Anyways, I'll just update you on how things have been going lah. I'm not sure how much of my army life I can divulge, but I can tell you at the very least that I'm coping well. The 5BX, CPT, AGR, 30-60...I've gotten used to them. Come next week, however, I'm not sure how I'll handle it. Field Camp leh. 6 days in the jungle, without phones, showers, toilets, proper food, and lights. I don't know what it's going to be like. I think I'll grow to dread the night, especially, when the chances of us getting tekan-ed increases, exponentially.

Ahh, I'll leave it here. Going to read manga. Booking in timing is at 6 today, which is horrendously early. Sigh. See you next weekend guys, I'll probably do a small post on field-camp :). Congrats to all those who did relatively well for their Os, and again, it's not about the results, but it's about what you do with 'em.

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I'm so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no


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