To Lie and To Love

Or should it be To Lie is To Love? Or To Love is To Lie?

It's amazing how even though the school-year has attended, controversies are still raging. We are now given a chance to seperate; the system no longer compels us to be with one another; yet we still remain so...involved in each other's lives. This just goes to show the bonds that we've formed; and the oh-so-tangled webs we have weaved.

Recently, two of my closest friends have been put under the micro-scope for some of the action, or inaction that they've undertaken. I feel, as a close friend whom they have confided to, that the situations are not being seen from their side, since most people prefer to close one eye and state their close-minded opinion.

It's all about perception. Human beings are sentient beings, and as sentient beings, we alone have the ability to put ourselves in other's shoes. I'm not saying that we should, because some people have stinky feet, but...let's just say certain conditions can only be seen when we look at things really really closely.

About these two isses; people have been freely dishing out criticisms and supports and whatnots. As their friend, I'm going to do the same, albeit...I'll try to do it objectively, because that's what a friend should do; I'm not giving them ignorant support.

So everybody shut the fuck up and listen to me.

Kidding.

What I'm going to do is comment on the situation. Note though...I never bothered to read the tagboards because there's just too many things which have been said, and frankly, that tagboard...is...Wah. I'm going to lay it all on the line, and state my opinion. They're mine alone, as always.

Watch out. I'm going into serious mode, and I now look like this <(V_V)>.

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To Lie

Someone lies two years ago, ruins friendships and burns bridges. People call him a bastard for lying, and I agree. We shouldn't lie, especially not to our friends. So like I said, two years go by, and now he chooses to apologize.

Things get complicated because of the apology. There's much flames..."Should do more", "Cannot accept it", "Why it takes so long" and all that.

Sure, he apologized through the blog, but sometimes, there's too many people to apologize to, and it's better to address it generally so that you can set things straight with SO many people at one go. That's one of the purposes of a blog; to talk to the masses, and even admit you're wrong in front of everybody. From what I know, this guy's apologize to the person who deserves the apology the most, albeit through Instant Messaging. But in an age where people confess their feelings over the net (I'm guilty of this! Hee! But that was two years ago; no self-loathing ass should do this now xD), I find this acceptable. What's he to do? Arrange for a meeting somewhere? And then what? Go for lunch? Watch movie?

Sial.

It took two years to admit he's wrong, but we've all been busy. People grow-up; let's face it: nobody's that mature yet. Growing up takes time, and for this guy, maybe it took two years for him to grow up, and the right set of someones to make him admit his mistake.

It took a long time, but what I'm trying to get to is that at least, IT CAME. He could have jolly well chosen to put this whole incident aside, but he had the balls to come out and say he's sorry. I'm pretty sure that if he had chosen to shut up about this, nothing will happen, people will forget about it, and it'll remain in their mind that he's a lying bastard.

But he apologized, and I think that's what we should judge his character on. Everybody makes mistakes, but not everybody has the courage to own up to it.

If he's forgiven, then good for him. If he's not, well, at least he tried, and for trying, I admire him, and he really did try to apologize, there's nothing much he can do about it.

All the bullshit aside, he's my friend, one of the few I trust completely.

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To Love

For the record, A is my friend, and so is C. However, A is the one I'm involved with in this situation, because he confided in me.

This is a classic situation, straight from the soaps. For the sake of funny-ness, let's assume A,B and C are all guys. A used to date B, but they went to splits-ville. C likes B, and in the process, becomes close friends with A. A finds out C likes B and gives his support. A realises he still has feelings for B. He's at a loss as to what to do. He treasures the friendship, but he can't say "No" to his heart. He tells C what he's doing; that he's going after B again. C is angry at A; after all the ups and downs, he turns around and goes after the person C likes.

B is in the middle of all this; he's confused.

Everybody's critisizing A, but to do so will be unfair to him, I find.

A is...following what his heart tells him to do. Everybody who knows this situation know that A is a very close friend of C's. They were together...went to each other's houses, went out all the time and all that. To A, C's friendship means alot to him.

That's the precise reason, that when A realised his feelings for B once more, he owned up to C.

The easy way out would have been for A to keep his mouth shut, and go after B behind C's back, but he didn't. It was difficult for A to tell it to C (I was there during his thought process, I KNOW), but he did, because he wanted to be honest.

And at the end of the day, that's what friendship is about. It's about being honest to your friends; it doesn't mean turning off your feelings and letting a part of your heart die. Friendship, in my opinion, is about being honest to each other, and with being honest, there comes the part of acceptance.

I know C's feelings...it's hard lah, to know that you're best friend likes the same girl that you like. But at the end of the day, you can't deny anyone of how they feel.

A feels strongly about B; I've talked to him, and he is sincere. He may have liked other girld before, but that's how teenage hearts are. They get crushes easily, they are deluded; infatuation is rampant. A have had B before, and maybe he didn't handle the situation in the right light, but...people change.

Personally, I don't know how much he can change, but as long as his feelings are true, he shouldn't be denied the chance.

I'm sure at the end of the day, A and C just want B to be (I knew I should have used nick-names instead :x) happy.

But right now, he's not, because B's stuck between A and C.

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I don't want to see a friendship so beautiful be torn apart; I really don't. It happened in To Lie, and I don't want to see it happening in To Love. I hope that people can accept others for what they are, not for what they wish them to change into.