Raymond Angelo is the Exoticoption.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

MAXIMum Exposure

On Vesak Day, I headed over to Paradiz to play pool with Weikeat, Salih, Weiting and Tim Koh. After a stay-home Sunday, of studying, DDR, Guitar Hero, Eyeshield 21, Sentai and Okami, I was eager to go out, take in the pollution of "town", and interact with the masses in general. My pool abilities were...so-so, and I didn't win much. The balls were horrible; the cue literally flew off the tables a gajillion times, in unexpected directions.

But fun nonetheless!

Anyhow, we went to 7-11 for some after-pool snack, drinks and whatever, and our eyes, like all other guy's eyes wandered over to the magazine section. I don't know about the rest, but I was wondering whether the latest issue of Men's Health was out...but we saw this couple pouring over an issue of Maxim! I was obviously astounded that a girl was reading Maxim in public, and with what-looked-like her boyfriend...and then Weiting goes up to them and says high. Apparently, they were from Clementi Town as well.

So yada-yada, they did some catching up, and bla-bla-bla, and BOOM, we had the revelation of the night! The reason why had their eyes on Maxim, the magazine purchased only by small pre-pubescent boys so that they've got something to do during those lonely nights was because....THE CHICK ON THE COVER GOES TO SCHOOL WITH THEM! AND SHE'S MY AGE! HOLY MOLY!

I seriously can't imagine anyone who is at my age group posing in skimpy bikinis for magazines. I don't react well to famous people, and to little-clothed people, and if you put that together, I practically explode. Just...it's so awkward and weird! The attention she's garnered, from her friends, and worse, from her teachers, and even worse, from her family members! There's bound to be guys who know her who read the magazine, and then...just imagine how they'll react.

Her friends will be fantasizing about her (they're passing around copies of her pictures, probably!).
Her lecturers will be fantasizing about her (they've got copies back in their offices, probably!).
And her relatives (especially the uncles) will attend in full force the next reunion dinner, and giver her extra hongbaos (...).
And her brothers...
And her father...

Let's just stop. And in case you're thinking "Raymond's so mean!", I'm not, because I'm not judging her, I'm just poking fun of her situation. She probably has her reasons and justifications. I'm glad I'm not in her shoes. Nor bikini. Wait...

Let's just stop. Must control...

PS: I don't want to put up weirdly interesting images on my blog, so just click here if you want to see this really gorgeous, brave lady.

Interesting tidbit 1: When brainstorming for the theme of Orientation 2008, one of the ideas that popped up was mACsimum ACsposure. Clearly, this is the worst name to ever grace the material world, transcending the barrier between this world and the place-where-bullshit-lie-undisturbed. I mean, double AC-punnage, and it just sounds voyeur-istic.

Interesting tidbit 2: Scratch that. The worse name was ACDonalds; I'm Loving It, or KAC; Finger Licking Good. Those are just...either really really bad, or plain fast (food) and furious.


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