Sorry!

Lack of postage, I know, but I've been doing stuff recently!

-Line-in Camp YAY!
-Exploring ParkWay!
-Zouk!
-Tennis!
-GUITAR!
-Running!
-Hajime No Ippo!
-STUDIES GHAH!!!
-His Dark Materials (A Trilogy)
-Catching up with buddies, even those in the Philippines!

Yeap :) That'll be me. Got sparring tomorrow, so I'll turn in early today. So you around!

Oh, and just because it's awesome:

Your EGO

I've always admired Einstein. Let's put all the questionable "bomb" stuff, and electrified hair aside; He came up with the energy equations (the most well-known, yet not quite so well-known-to-use question), for goodness sake! So yeah...with this aspirations, I sat back and thought what magical equation I could come up with.

I always thought myself a god of Mathematics and Physics (A1 lehx), but I entered JC, and had the shock of my life. Afore mentioned statement had to be edited; I am a God of SECONDARY SCHOOL Mathematics and Physics. My conclusion? The magical equation was not to be found in this realms...Let's move on to somewhere deeper!

THE MIND HAHAHAAHA!!!!!

I thought for awhile, reflected on the past winds that have weathered me (sial -.-), and then boom.

The larger the ego, the higher the emo.


The larger the ego, the higher the emo.

The larger the ego, the higher the emo.

ego=k emo

If I was Einstein, Raymond's Law will go something like; One's ego is proportional to his capacity to be emo, with the direction of the ego being opposite to the direction of the emo.

...

Scratch that last part. It's become habit to add in the direction, because in A-level physics, you don't get marks if you don't add direction.

Let's elaborate with a case study, first; ME, because I've got the biggest ego around. Now, look at my posts...remember the one which was extremely bold, and capital-y gay? Yeap, the one which was so emotionally-charged (irony is that I can't even remember what I was typing about, honest). It takes a whole lot of ego to say/complain/whine that the whole world is against you, that nothing is going right.

How is emo created? When egos are broken. So you're on a roll; you're living in your freaking bubble, you're living in your ego, boosted by it even, and an obstacle comes along, puts you down, and your ego's destroyed, and you become so darn freaking emo, it's sad, and most of the time, very very sad.

So yeah. Brilliant, no? Or the ramblings of a genius?

Jurong East is the CB

YanShan: So you coming down?
Raymond: Yeah. Where's the Creative Sale?
YanShan: Jurong East.
Raymond: So far. CB.

I hate living so far from the central. If I was somewhere like...Bukit Merah, I wouldn't mind going to the west, but walking to the train, and then taking the got-damn train in the middle of the afternoon...that's a major No-no. Anyways, from the way things are going, I won't have to live with this anymore. There's no better time than now, so I'll break the news here.

I'm moving! NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bowled Over

I think I've been doing strings of stupid shyte; I'm aware I've to put a stop to it, sometime, hopefully soon, but the streak doesn't seem to end.

Anyways. The past week have been really busy, and I guess it being the last week of school, this should have been anticipated. Let's see...

Monday: TeeShan the birthday. Dinner was excellent!

Tuesday: Hmm...Let me think. I know I had a Project Work lecture to end the day...Wow. Screw this, I've got no idea, but...OH YEAH! Kronos: The string concert! Headed over to Victoria Concert hall with DaiNan, Tim Chua and Matthew. Kerri asked me to go, so what the hat, might as well, because it's good when people owe you. Good job to her! Anyways, I love the way the string-ist move their arms! It's so...purposeful, and the arms don't flab either :). Saw James too, and he had an *ahem* for an *ahem*.

Wednesday: Debate at KCP, for our last session. The group was smaller (both our side and theirs). A few of the KC girls asked me for my e-mail WTF! Haha. They boosted my ego; others abused it, which is :(.

Thursday: Headed over with a few elects and councilors to Yishun's SAFRA to cheer for AC bowling. Damn that's fun. One side will go "GO BISHAN!", and we'll go "GO AC!", and they sometimes throw it back, but not once did they win. NOT ONCE. Headed over to watch "Restless". Me and Diviyanshu was screwing around at the train, and he got himself into a position where he was nearly touching a lady's ass. Dang. Watched it with my Econs class; props to Kerri for helping me look for the ticket, and to Charles for providing it to me. Charles claimed he had "several" offers, but they were from the same person; Raymond freaking Angelo.

Friday: Half-day, so YEAH! Went bowling with a few of the class people and ate at Carl's. There was a debate bbq I was really really looking forward to, but things happened, and I went to Far-East instead, when we (Questians) were supposed to meet at Taka (Damn you Nigel! We KNOW your secret!). Walked around, looking for places to eat...we dropped by Crystal Palace, practically stomped in, but we couldn't really afford it. Ate at some...some place lah, and stoned at Coffee Bean for awhile.

Yeap. That's me. Hopefully, I'll be able to put in some work-out, pig-out, and study time this holidays. See you around guys!

Dawn Over a New World by DragonForce

I'm this hard.

In the darkness of the night in the shadows of the dawn
It's turning black no looking back the sands of time are sewn
When the day will slowly end and the sun has turn to grey
Will we feel the power of freedom with the dawn of a new day?

Over mountains paved with gold and through the valleys of the slain
Our quest will lead us onwards to the journey of the brave
When the time has come to stand for the power we believe
We will ring the sound of victory for one and all to see

Sometimes in your darkest dreams you will feel the haunting pain
Silent tears of your hidden fears come to haunt you once again
Fight on for the memories of the everlasting dreams
Their pain in the silent lands on wings of glory free
We can go on forever with the darkness so far away
And the warriors who live forever fight on to the end

Across the highest mountains and through the endless seas
Our journey ever onwards fight until we all be free
Through the darkness shining the never-ending light
On through the days of glory rise towards the fight

And one day we will find a way towards this distant golden age
The cries of war will sound the day
We stand before the dawn of a New World

On through the raging thunder across the seven seas
Cold winter skies are falling on the battles we have seen

We can go on forever with the darkness so far away
And the warriors who live forever fight on to the end

Across the highest mountains and through the endless seas
Our journey ever onwards fight until the end

Across the highest mountains and through the endless seas
Our journey ever onwards fight until we all be free
Through the darkness shining the never-ending light
On through the days of glory rise towards the fight

And one day we will find a way towards this distant golden age
The cries of war will sound the day
We stand before the dawn of a New World

We stand before the dawn of a New World

The Ultimate

And that'll be me.

Seventeen and You're So Old

So it's Shan's Birthday today. We had our mature-est conversation yesterday, which should really have come sooner than today...and we went out today to grab some chow. So hat happened?

We spotted Raynard.


They said somethings to me, which are along the lines of this picture :\


We planned to eat at Jack's Place, but due to the expensive food...

And we ended up eating at Kenny Rogers instead.

Anyways, apologies for the short post. I'm trying to catch up on my Physics, see. On the brighter side, check it out!

On Top of the World

Look up, the stars are fading
And I am still here waiting
To see you again
Be with you my friend

When the moon is gone forever
I hope you're up there somewhere
I'll see you again
Be with you my friend

'Cause all the roads they lead to where you are
And all the streetlights shine like they were stars
That's where you are

Let's spend tonight on top of the world
And we can do anything,
We can be anything
I'll meet you tonight on top of the world
As real as it seems,
You're only in my dreams

Look out across the water
Faces of lonely daughters and mothers who care
But just can't be there
Swear that I will see you someday
I have to find a way
To show you I care
Even if you're not there

So I'm following the road to where you are
(Meet you tonight on top of)
The streetlights they will guide me to the stars
That's where you are

Let's spend tonight on top of the world
And we can do anything,
We can be anything
I'll meet you tonight on top of the world
As real as it seems,
You're only in my dreams

My heart is empty without you
Sometimes you don't know what you do
And I need you tonight
I'll fall asleep and it's alright
Close my eyes and I'll be by your side

Let's spend tonight on top of the world
And we can do anything,
We can be anything
I'll meet you tonight on top of the world
As real as it seems,
You're only in my dreams

Let's spend tonight on top of the world
(On top of the world)
As real as it seems, 
You're only in my dreams

:'(

:D

:)

:|

:\

:(

:'(

Well, shit.

Working Towards a Firm Booteh

I'm getting my fitness back on track. I HAVE to get at least a Silver, or else, I'll have to attend the worst kind of "First Three Months"; The NS Kind, which I MUST AVOID AT ALL COST!

So yeah, I ran 4km today, and I'm going to do some top-secret shyte, and do intensive body-scupting as well. My primary goal last time was to lose weight; this time, I'm aiming for...*wait for it*....*hear the drumrolls*....

FIRMER BUTTOCKS!

Usually, girls look for the tri-perfecta of Tall, Dark and Handsome; if they don't want to appear shallow, they'll add intelligent, and a wicked sense of humour too. Control freaks have cooking lah, indulge in poetry lah, and all that FEMINIST bull, but I'm those aren't my target. Seeing how I've got "dark", "handsome" *ahem*, and intelligense (the irony), and humour :) down to pat, with nothing doing for "tall" due to biological reasons...I'm going after the UNSPOKEN attraction.

Which is a firm butt. No one admits it...but I think it's a secret yearning. Hmm...

So yeah, for now, it's like "marshmallow"...I'm aiming towards hardness comparable to that of "gajillion-carat diamond".

What's the difference between playing around and working out?

Playing around means you can take off your shirt and use your shirt to wipe away your sweat. Working out means that wiping yourself with your shirt will only make yourself more sweaty.

Sexy Voice and Robo

Here's a treat to all L fans! Here's the actor who played L in Death Note, acting in another J-drama, Sexy Voice and Robo. We've seen him before in Nana as the bassist, as the cool L, so prepared to be surprised when you watch this little show. He plays an OTAKU! Not just any normal otaku too...he plays a ROBOT otaku, who hangs around with some 14 year-old chick (who's very pretty btw :)).

Here's a snippet.



You'll barely recognise him :). Anyways, do check it out. A few episodes are in YouTube, or you can download them via torrent.

Sees yous!

The Inner-Struggle and The Outer-Farce

A happy/sad picture. Interpret it as you wish.

Struggling to do Independent Learning at the moment. I was planning to do the first question, but what the hat is "Opposing Viewpoints"? I think it's somewhere in the online Oldham Library, but it seems to be down, so I can't really access that nasty shyte.

So I got started with 'C'; but it's pair work and I'm alone, so I'm not really sure. I've done the basic lay-out for the questions, just have to download the movie, burn it and I'm solved. Yay. Tentatively, I'm doing "Thank You For Smoking", as an Economics-themed movie, but I might switch to "School of Rock", and even "High School Musical".

Here's to tomorrow, free from the chains that bind us.

On other news: Returning to Queenstown this Tuesday with Ringo and Jeremy to collect our O-level cert, and talk to teachers. God, I've missed that place.

He's Just a DANCE HALL DRUG

*Kana Edited

I typed a whole bucketful of trite yesterday, but in retrospect, it's more of a spur-of-the-moment thing. I think I was just tired. And stressed too. And emotionally turbulent. But let's put aside feelings and shyte, stop being human, and laugh at some pictures! In the spirit of THE elephant (scroll down if you don't get it, or is an ELEPHANT blocking your way?), let's post more intelligent people pointing the finger at the administration. Let's go!





And last but not least...

For Life, We Run

I missed a 'C' for my 2.4 by farking 3 seconds!

And I shouldn't have missed those 3 seconds too! I saw Rebecca carrying her nano with her, and inquired whether it's allowed, which is pretty much quite DURH, since she's already carrying it and stuff, but I guess my enthusiasm for running clouded my mind. Anyways, I went to get the Zune, borrowed Jon's headphones and then went to the starting line.

"Is this really a good idea?" I thought, questioning my...idea (lame siah). But too late. Start, and then I ran, with Boys Like Girls playing in my head.

And shit, the headphone drops. I put it back on. 1 second elapses.

Run to catch up! And shit, the headphone drops. I put it back on. 1 second elapses.

The Zune's in my pants. And shit, my pants drop! Nearly, but I pull it back on, then saw Sam coming, so I ran to him, passed him my Zune and ran back on track. 1 second elapses.

3 seconds wasted because of music! ARGH.

Blogged for Awesome

Today is the day
The worst day of my life
You're so content it hurts me
I don't know why
The cost of misery
Is at an all time high
I keep it hidden
Close to the surface in sight

I'm learning to fall
I can't hardly breathe
When I'm going down don't worry about me
Don't try this at home
You said you don't see
I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me

Could you be with him?
Or was it just a lie?
He doesn't catch you like I do
And you don't know why
You change your clothes and your hair
But I can't change your mind
Oh, I'm uninvited
So unrequited now

I'm learning to fall
I can't hardly breathe
When I'm going down don't worry about me
Don't try this at home
You said you don't see
I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me

Words screaming in my head
Why did you leave?
And I can't stop dreaming
Watching you and him
When it should have been
It should have been me

Today is the day
The worst day of my life

I'm learning to fall
I can't hardly breathe
When I'm going down don't worry about me
Don't try this at home
You said you don't see
I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me

Whoa (I'm learning to fall, I can't hardly breathe)
(I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me)
Tell me that you know, it should have been me)
Whoa (Don't try this at home, You said you don't see)
I don't want to know that you know, it should've been me
Whoa (I'm learning to fall, I can't hardly breathe)
(I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me)
Tell me that you know, it should have been me
Whoa (Don't try this at home, You said you don't see)
I don't want to know that you know, it should've been me

Chinese Loves Jello

I know...3 posts in one morning. But what the hat. This one's too good to waste. Way too accurate for it's own good.

True, isn't it? :)

Give me Feedback

I resent tagboards, cause they usually go out of control, and it gets abused so often, that my head starts to spin just thinking about it. Space is mini too, so it's hard to read and keep up.

But then I realise that some people are like...I don't know, using my name, so it's quite clear that they've got something against me. Since they can't be bothered to tell me in the face, tehy go about the net wreaking fucking havoc. So let's do this!

I've opened up my comments page to everyone, not only registered users. So if you've got something to say, please, do say it, and I'll reply to the best of my abilities!

Feel free to say hi, too. See you around!

This is why I don't have a Tagboard

I tried to hold the flood gates, but you showed your crack.

Pardon the pun.

Fuck the mother-fuckers who use my name on other blogs. Know what? To all those impostors in tagboards? Stop typing...yeah...stop typing, I'm sure your fingers will fit better up your ass. It's good practice too. You'll be gay, eventually, anyways, so it's good practice, no?

And just for everybody's benefit, I don't want to be involved in anything more than what I'm already am in right now. I'm busy enough as it is, with school and council, so...just don't drag my name in, because it's my name still, and don't speak up for me, because I've got my own voice.

It's right here. Can you see it? My voice?

Had council training yesterday. Quite ok lah, but most of everybody wasn't there, so I didn'gt get the full impact just yet. Went out for lunch with a few elects (you can call us councilors yet, those are the seniors. 'til investiture, we're elects) at Holland, and then took the train with Sarah to Paya Lebar. Only three councilors live in the east :(. But that might change! You heard it here first, I might be moving by the end of the June Holidays!

Glen Wirawan called me out then, so yeap, onto Cine to shoot some pool, play some Lan, eat dinner. Yeap.

Today? I'm going to be a chiongster mugger. See you!

And just for the sheer epic-ness of this image...check it out. Reach for the stars!

Make or Break?

I choose Breakthrough.

I made it into the 32nd Student's Council of ACJC. To all those who voted for me, thank you, and to all those who didn't, I'll just go on to prove why you should have voted for me =P. There's a few surprises here and there, and disappointments, but it's over, and we'll move on from here, k everybardi?

On a more positive note, everyone from Breakthrough AC made it through! I'm so proud of us, in that...things weren't always so smooth, know, but we pulled through. There were many bumps on the path, and even walls, but guess what? True to our name, we brokethrough. Zoe, Margareth, Weiting and Salih...I thank you guys.



On another note, I talked to Daphne Khoo yesterday! You know...that chick from Singapore Idol? Ur-hur. She's real sweet in person! Live 93.8 came down to AC yesterday and had a dialog with the students regarding "social etiquette". (Download the Podcast: http://www.938live.sg/). Much talking...and then my name got called to "mingle" with the guests, and Daphne was one of them, and that's how it went.

The results for council was supposed to be release at noon yesterday, but I was having Geography then. Slyly, I excused myself to the toilet, ran to the Council Voice, looked for my name...and I didn't see it! At first, that is. I looked for the longest name, "Raymond Angelo Gonzaga Lagdameo", but realised that they had shortened it, and then I saw it, did a mini first-pump, and an inwards scream and ran back to the Geography class. Yay me.

Physics practical was surprisingly manageable, and then did PW stuff, and then went to Golden Mile with Eileen. It's nice to have good friends around :).

Anyways, gtg for Council training. See you around! I here my calling.

I'm coming.

Brick Wars

My wallpaper kicks-ass.

Screw-up's Guide to Exams

Lessons went by fairly quickly today. I paid much more attention during Maths lecture, and Geography tutorial was extremely useful. I still find myself stoning through Physics lecture though, but with my 1500+ pages Physics Textbook, I'm sure I'll succeed. Stayed back to study with GuoXiang and Glenn for abit, and then had an interview for Debate comm.

Cross my fingers that I make it in! I'm not aiming for any lofty positions; just logistics.

Anyways, council results SHOULD come out tomorrow, and what can I say? The votes have been tallied.

What's your choice, AC?

Slick Physics

I'd like to see someone draw the free-body diagram of this. It's just so freaking awesome...I'll try it when I've got the time.

Physics test tomorrow, and Geography too. Geography stinks, so no farni Geog pictures x(.

All hail the underground Debates President!

Just Saying Hi!!

I'll make a proper post soon, but my schedule (wah!) isn't permitting me to do so. I've still got malay work to do, and there's a Geography test, and a Physics test on Friday to keep myself busy with. See you this weekend, I think, but I just might be occupied by the damn Independent Learning thing...Fiack.

See you, and I tried making a blog post yesterday, but circumstances...it forced an edit, so yeap.

Almond And Angelo

Raymond Angelo...

Sounds like...

ALMOND AND JELLO!!! YUM!!!

Vote for me because I'm TASTY, and I'm NUTS...

FOR AC!

Saints Row

Bible Fight

Cheebye....

I'm at a loss for words. Pardon the title, but it just came to me; Raymond Angelo's been reduced to vulgarities...This was me when I was sec 2 I think...and HOLY BLOODY HELL am I trying to WINK at the camera?



Thank god I lost weight.

Hey, Put Your Records On

Raymond Angelo recommends:
-Story of the Year (Border-line emo)
-Manowar (Dragonforce-like sound)
-Secondhand Serenade (Slow Rock; Acoustico)
-Theory of a Deadman (Awesome)

*Kana edited.

Boys Like Girls

Boys like girls will be the next big thing. And you heard it from me first. They're amazing; It's a bit of The Ataris, and you can sense a little of All-American Rejects, but it's more...sad, yeah; not terribly complicated. It speaks to the heart though, especially the broken ones, so I guess they'll do splendidly. Here's a song of theirs: Thunder. Enjoy reading :). Btw, blogger's really really messing with me; I can't upload youtube videos, and now, I can't even change my fonts. Goodness me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today is a winding road
Thats taking me to places that I didnt want to go, whoa
Today in the blink of an eye
Im holding on to something and I do not know why I tried

I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation; what Im feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe theres a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know youre unlike any other?
Youll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I dont wanna ever love another
Youll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I dont know, whoa
Today Im on my own
I cant move a muscle and I cant pick up the phone, I dont know

And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside, just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe theres a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know youre unlike any other?
Youll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I dont wanna ever love another
Youll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Yeah Im walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think Ill make it out but you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

Today is a winding road
Thats taking me to places that I didnt want to go, whoa

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know youre unlike any other?
Youll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I dont wanna ever love another
Youll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know youre unlike any other?
Youll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
Oh baby bring on the pain
And listen to the thunder

Try The Limit

Things have been really fun in AC. I'm loving, and living up JC life now. The council meetings have been awfully exciting and enlightening...and if I doin't get in...I don't know how I'll feel. But let's not think about that!

I gave my Indian-scholar friend one of the best/worst one-liner ever, and I just realised that I probably sealed his faith. He's rapping see...and can you imagine that? If he makes it in, good for him, but if he doesn't, the fault's on me...because (as Sam said), I prayed on an innocent Indian jungle boy?

Anyways, debate yesterday morning was really fun. We're learning new styles of debates; I was up against JiaNi, on the subject of surrogate mothers, should they be banned or not?

-I guess it's a matter of choice. You can't impose your morals on someone...because that's the thing about morals; they'll be eroded eventually. If you've got a means...then might as well use it, right?
-But then again, do people know what they're getting into by being surrogate mothers? Can you put a price on bearing a child?

Yeah, just some questions. Then we had a full debate with Nicole (she's #3! Vote!), Eileen and Mark on my side. "Is child labour justified?"

-Depends. If there are means for education, then why not? The main obstacle in this debate is establishing whether education exists, and whether PROPER regulations can be imposed on child labour, such that they are not abused.

Went for lunch, and then watched Grease...rushed home to change, and then rushed to SRT to watch Culminatio with Eileen.

Bloody hell. I swear all the traffic lights were against me yesterday night. Every single traffic junction I passed, I saw red, both literally and figuratively. It was the worst streak of stops I've ever experienced, and it came at such a bad time too. In the end, I came late by a good (bad) ten minutes. Sorry Eileen!

Sat with Caleb in the end at the top row, and joined Eileen during the interval.

Anyways! Culminatio is part of the DEP curriculum; the DEP students form groups, and in these groups, they perform and are graded on the spot. 5 plays in total, and I loved it. I didn't like the first one though...maybe because I'm a filipino, and the play was about filipino maids getting abused. They didn't quite get the accent right, and the issue they spoke off...it's kinda obvious, yeah? No subtleness, but since it's an adapted script, it's no fault of theirs.

Rashomon was awesome. They emulated a real sword-duel on stage...one time...and then they had a freaking FLASHBACK of the whole thing, and if you're really observant, you'll see that they made an effort to keep the two duels as similar to each other.

It ended and we walked around, with Raymus, Sheryl and Ketchup (I don't know his real name, he asked me to call him Ketchup, so wtf yeah, but he's cool). Cabbed with Ketchup back to Paya Lebar, and that's it.

Really long day, and I'm planning to stay home and study today. Oh, and get a hair-cut too! Prepare for a...SLOPE!

Credits: Thank you Glen, for waking me up. And making me blush. Long story. Not fit for here. It's personal :).

Apologies: Sorry 4a guys...

Hooray for Posters!

I made those ^^

Poster-making for Dummies!
1) Take some really gay picture; a gay post will be a bonus.
2) Photo-shop that picture. Photo-shopping for me, is just adjusting the gradient lah, the brightness lah, and all that until you get the desired effect. Whoa O.o.
3) Go to power point and add the words in through that. I would have done it through photo-shop, but I'm noob, honestly, so I dare not touch that.
4) Look for the most kick-ass font you can find.
5) Come up with a lame line. Cool also works, but no one can be as cool as I am, so let's not get all over-our-heads.

And you've got it! Posters in 10 minutes, or so.

I don't know about this...

Ok, I'm still not confident with blogger so I'll keep this short. I'll make my posts progressively longer...if blogger actually starts IMPROVING.

Anyways, I watched Spider-man 3 the other day with KaiXiang (OG) and Eileen (Debates), and god that was some show. The scene that stands out the most for me is the part at the bleeding bridge, where Mary Jane breaks up with Peter.

"I'm glad I'm not the only one,"

That went through my mind. I can sort of see parallels between me and Parker, and it's bitter-sweet looking back because I can't believe the way I was behaving at THAT time. Every line Parker spouted...I've said something similar before, and I laugh at him, but at the same time, I realise I'm laughing at myself.